Divorce Nation

Going through a divorce breaks a pattern of stability and hope in your life.  When you lose this sense of stability and hope, that the establishment of marriage is supposed to give you, you feel like you are left with absolutely nothing.  The process consists of emotional injections of rage, desperation, loath, and deep self revision.

Ask anyone who is going through a divorce or has been through one, and you will find the common denominator among all is the overwhelming sense of powerlessness one feels.  When you replace stability with the unknown, this wrecks temporary havoc on self worth.  When you lose your sense of direction, it feels like you are drifting and nothing makes sense at that point.  Fortunately, this new low usually forces us to find things inside of ourselves we never really knew we had.  A power we never thought we could achieve, or did, and just forgot.

Regaining personal power when everything around you seems so utterly hopeless is not easy, but it is very doable.

The first thing we have to do is recognize that we have a choice.  As human beings we have to believe that we always have a choice.  Even though we do not have control over our circumstances, we have the control to reign in our decisions that affect these circumstances.

If your husband had an affair with another woman outside of your marriage, this is definitely traumatic and outside of your control.  You have to give yourself the time to absorb the events that have occurred.  You can then choose to hold on to these hurtful events and allow them to touch every part of your life, or you can deal with them and let them go freely, thus setting yourself free.  This is personal power through choice.

Secondly, you can empower yourself by saying ‘No’.

‘No, I will not engage you on a level that will hurt my personal spirit’.

This is personal power through choice.

Thirdly, you know what you need, so let it be known.

When you have learned the power of ‘No’, you can now clarify without hesitation those things that you really do have a need for and simply ask for them.  Do not make everything a revolving door around you.  When you show consideration and respect for the years you spent together, your ex-partner will likely do the same.  This strategy leads to a lot less emotional drain in the long run.  This is more personal power through choice.

Finally, when you realize how you special you are, you have to share it with the rest of the world.  Finding our personal strengths and sharing them with others, empowers them to do the same.  Imagine a world where everyone lived up to the full potential of their personal power?  Well, it would be an extremely different world.  Changing the world, my friend, is maximum personal power.